I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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