I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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