I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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