Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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