Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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