just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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