you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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