My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
