I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
