I'm jealous of your bromance
it was like eating out sand paper
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
