after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
