My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
