Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
