My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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