OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
