i need an iv and a liver transplant
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
