And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
