Welp...herpes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
