if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize