Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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