the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
