Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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