She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
