now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize