I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
