eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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