whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
