just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
