This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
