moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sext me about skeletons
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