i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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