Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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