ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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