Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
