woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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