Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
