i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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