i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
