Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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