let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
