there's paper in my vomit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
