Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
