toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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