there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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