Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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