no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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