oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
