my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
