Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
