90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
