made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
