I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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