My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
