Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
