It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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